Summaries and Customer Reviews are supplied by Amazon.com
Summary:
How often do you flnd yourself on the losing end of an argument? What percentage of your success in life depends on your success in conversation? Believe it or not, if you are like most people, your answer would be 98 percent or more.
Do you have a plan ready when you find yourself confronting an adversary at work? At home? On a dark street at night? Or do you just react from habit or emotion? As George Thompson says, "When you react, the event controls you. When you respond, you're in control."
Verbal Judo is a philosophy that can show you how to be better prepared in every verbal encounter: How to listen and speak more effectively; how to engage people through empathy (the most powerful word in the English language); how to avoid the most common conversational disasters; how, instead, to have a proven, easily remembered strategy that will allow you to successfully communicate your point of view and take the upper hand in most disputes.
Customer Reviews:
Average Customer Rating:
Words: As a deadly weapon.
Customer Rating:
This is a great book that can really help put the words we use into perspective. As a former police officer, George has some great stories and examples of what to and not to say. It is an easy read that I enjoyed. I read it a few chapters at a time to let it al sink in. I highly recommend this for anyone who interacts with other humans in any fashion!
Verbal Judo On the Job
Customer Rating:
It works! A little awkward at first but it really, really works! I work security in one of the worst areas of my city, plagued with high crime, gangs, and poverty. Using the techniques of Verbal Judo I have been able to defuse situations that could have turned very ugly without resorting to violence or dangerious confrontations.
Necessity for Police Officers
Customer Rating:
This book is great; filled with useful techniques in dealing with all sorts of people. The subject matter is presented in a straightforward, memorable layout. If you are in law enforcement or a similar field, it would benefit you to read this book. Whether you agree with the use of "verbal judo" or not, this could be your career-saver.
Assumes the reader is a negative person
Customer Rating:
I read this book to see what kind of material was being used to train police officers in effective communication, and to see if there was any material in the book that would be useful to participants in an anger management class I am teaching. There are some useful things in the book, such as the necessity of understanding a conflict from the other person's perspective, responding with what the situation calls for to create calmness rather than what your ego might want, and the time honored counseling technique of making sure that you understand what the other person is saying by paraphrasing it back to them and asking them if you have understood. It is also useful to point out that most of a message is in the tone of voice and the body language more than in the words themselves.
The book could have been shorter by about half if the authors would have spent less time hyping in the book how wonderful verbal judo is and how it is going to change things for the reader and more time just presenting the guts of what they have to say. This kind of self-congratulatory writing just seems feels like sales hype. I have already bought the book- quit the bs and get down to the substance of what you have to say. Additionally, I found it very concerning that the authors seem to feel that their readers will feel good by being negative, and that that is the reader's natural impulse. Let me share this quote in that context:
From a list of principles to keep in mind on page 220: "If it makes you feel good, no good. If you say the thing that makes you feel the best, nine times out of ten you are making a mistake. Sadly, it makes you feel good to stroke your own ego, to put somebody down, to tear into someone."
It does?
That isn't true about me, and I imagine it is also not true about about many people who will read this book. To make this assumption in a book that talks about communication skills seems like a pretty serious error.
Indispensable
Customer Rating:
Did you ever experience a situation when you talked to somebody and for one reason or another you were not heard? When you or your message was ignored or dismissed? I'm sure it didn't matter if the conversation involved your spouse, your children or your colleagues, the resulting feeling was equally intimidating and frustrating.
Mr. Thompson is an English literature professor who became a cop. Rest assured this man knows what he is talking about. The content of his book is very practical. It tells you how to deal with nice, difficult and whimpy people. It outlines what you shouldn't say in case you want to avoid conflict. You will understand that in certain situations a carefully conducted dialog can save lives.
When the starting position is one of conflict you want to create a raport. What do you say to defensive, fearful, impatient people? Do you lash out or are you aware of your purpose? Can you control your mind and your feelings enough to win your point?
You do not need to sport a uniform and a gun to put this technique into practice. It is about human contact, dignity and respect. Mr. Thompson will teach you how to get your message across in a most effective way. However, be prepared to practice diligently, make mistakes and learn from them. Verbal communication can be both serious and fun.
Quote: 'A man holding hostages once told me, "I want a million dollars and an airplane!" I said, "So do I!" and I laughed. [---] I went on, "Sir we'd both like those things, wouldn't we ? But let me tell you something I think you already know. That's not going to happen.'
Who knows, you might need the same approach and attitude as a cilivian at home while talking to your teenager who's unwilling to hear you out and cooperate. But be prepared, the kid might use the same technique, Verbal Judo!
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